FLOTSAM AND JETSAM

Do you think our basic personalities will be kept intact in Heaven?  I  would so appreciate being changed into a sanguine like my husband and first son were.  God made me a melancholic/choleric.  One of our kids drew the short straw and got my personality; the other two got their dad's. Few situations on this earth pull a sanguine down into the dumps.  I've heard from a good Source that none of us will be in the dumps in Heaven. I like that.  Note that there isn't one phlegmatic in my immediate family. (Webster's can give you a pretty good definition of these personality types.)

I hate the negative thoughts that come with being a melancholic personality. The creative, intuitive, sensitive aspects of my personality can be a blessing. ... or a curse. (We're the musicians, writers, artists.)  Because I am approaching being ancient, I have collected lots of friends. ...and probably a few enemies, but don't tell me if you know who they are. I will obsess because I am not pleasing them, will rain on God's parade and maybe yours too. ...a note about cholerics. I can usually pull myself out of a funk by going to work. We LOVE productivity.

At night when the tsunami of tears sometimes washes over me, carrying tons of flotsam and jetsam that sometime around midnight I may finally be able to lay on Jesus' breast, there is nothing to do but endure the emotions that have been stored up through the day.  Why has my Potter made me thus?  This much I have figured out: I have no choice but to be desperately dependent upon His Word. Leaning on my own understanding is not smart, and I will hurt people. ...and God. 

While Ted was here with me, often I did not have the time required for study and listening before ministering to others. Now I have lots of time alone. Well, almost alone. Bootsie and I begin our day early. He insists upon a kneading session while I do my own "kneading" on Jesus; then my contented cat curls up and naps on my shoulder while I drink my coffee and open my Bible.  Recently I found  another of Ted's devotional/study Bibles and am brought closer to my husband's heart as I note his underlinings and thoughts in the margins.  When I leave this earth, I have instructed my daughter to burn my Bibles for there are names of people in the margins that I have wanted to throttle during my lifetime. I don't find any names in Ted's margins. Sanguines are seldom mad at people long enough to write down their names.

This morning at 4:45 A.M.  Grandson Luke (Doug's 19-year-old) gently awoke me to tell me "Goodbye".  He is on his way to Granite Bay (Sacramento) to live with Jeff (Son #2) and Carla, precious daughter-in-law.  As I am watching the third generation go out the door, I feel two ways, but then we melancholics always feel at least two ways about everything. Luke's going to live with Jeff and Carla is an answer to prayer. He has a job already and is excited about entering college in a few weeks. Yahoo!!!

Last night I was sitting in a little park in town under the stars and full moon, watching three of my beloved musical buddies give a  performance that was a WOW. Another Yahoo yesterday was a call from one of my teenage students telling me he is witnessing to three lost teens and needed scriptures to help them across the abyss.  None of the students of different generations that I teach would consider stopping our study in Corinthians this summer. We will head into the Psalms for awhile now. Paul will just have to figure out how to straighten out the young churches without our help. Tonight I get to bring some joy to whoever shows up to listen to me entertain at the Apple Shed. I LOVE this "gig" (I never did like that inelegant word.) because I don't have to consider what other musicians want to play.  People request songs that go all the way to the ragtime era a hundred years ago. Some may want a classic and I am forced to pull out actual music lest I rattle the bones of  the deceased composers.  Fortunately, I have a brain that remembers (or can phoney) countless tunes. Now why can't I remember where a scripture verse is when I want it? 

                                       HYMN OF THE WEEK: CLEANSE ME

Search me, O God, and know my heart today
Try me, O Saviour, know my thoughts, I pray
See if there be some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free.

Lord, take my life and make it wholly Thine;
Fill my poor heart with Thy great love divine
Take all my will, my passion, self and pride
I now surrender, Lord--in me abide.

Love, Jo