Friday, August 28, 2015

Early Morning Thoughts

My first cup of coffee in hand, I have been languishing in my bed on the deck for over an hour, watching the full moon disappear over the mountain to the west and welcoming the dim glow of First Light over the mountain to the east.

Peggy Klubnik, in her 80's in Texas sent me an Email yesterday to tell me her Jim slipped into Heaven last week. I cry for her for I know the terrible loneliness that will set in when everybody goes home to their own lives.  Every once in awhile the Spirit moves me to call my widowed friends who are in their 80's and 90's. Dear 90-year-old Lillian Sundstrom is adjusting well to her Assisted Living facility in Houston/Katy, Texas. Several of her children live close by. One is here in California. Harriet Rudell,  92, is being cared for by her oldest son who lives with her in her Santa Rosa, California home. All three of her other sons and families are nearby. Elaine Stedman, 92, in Medford, Oregon is in a retirement home, not  far from her four daughters. She struggles to talk now, but  reads my emails and responds.  She forwards my blogs to her daughters. ...very honoring to me since her husband Ray was our mentor. Maybe tomorrow  I will call Ruthie Hoover, or she may call me. I think she is 88 or 9, living in an apartment in an upscale facility in Fresno, California. Her daugher is close by; all three sons are in California.  I will call dear Pat Welbourn, whose loss of Ed is so fresh. I remember so well those first days as reality sets in. Pat also lives in her own apartment in an upscale retirement facility in Houston, Texas. She is 80 something. Their daughter and son live nearby; one son is in Phoenix.   I don't think there is an "upscale retirement facility" in my future because they cost big bucks, and the last I checked my stash doesn't qualify. I have no idea what lies ahead between today and when He takes me Home.  I so desire to go quietly, in the night. ...but then, who doesn't?  ...and oh, dear Robin. In her 80's, she walks a Carlsbad, California beach nearly every day, telling all who will listen about Jesus. Her son Gregg and family just returned to the South of France to live and tell those folk about Jesus.  Oh, how she will miss them, but Robin would not for a minute want them to turn away from God's calling on their lives. She and Gene served Him together with Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU) nearly all of their lives. Her other son lives near her and her daughter is in Idaho. She lives alone, as do I. We talk and pray on the phone and support each other financially.

Our precious daughter and son-in-law have been right beside us as Ted endured many surgeries and health issues for the last twenty-two years of his life. She was right by her dad's bedside, along with her brother Doug for eleven months as the brain tumor steadily did its deadly work. How could any of us have known that Doug would follow his dad to Heaven eleven months later?  Jesus, what are they doing right now?  Are they in a Holy Holding Cradle until we all receive our glorified bodies at the same time? You don't tell us much; we wouldn't "get it" if you did.

Lexi, Dee and Brent's 20-year-old will leave soon for her last two years of college at UC Hayward. I am so glad that she will be close by, but even so,  I will miss her so much. On this early morning, I have worries about all six of our grandchildren . Lord, do the Jewish Rabbis really know what they are talking about regarding what they believe is coming down for America in September?  Lord, wasn't it David, your mighty warrior who said: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in you?" Thank you that our wobbly faith keeps us running to you every day for reassurance.

Should I go to water aerobics this morning and jump around in the pool with other aging men and women?  I must  exercise and you know how I resist it.  The water is so relaxing, but then I want to sleep all afternoon. ...and I must eat right, and I must prepare something wonderful for lunch at Doug and Susie's Living Room fellowship tomorrow. A "son-in-Christ" is coming from Bakersfield to join me, so whatever I cook must be hearty.  Another "son-in-Christ" has slipped into my life. Maybe they can meet tomorrow. You made me to love connecting people with people. Lord, thank you that you give me a precious holy, eternal family that keeps growing.  Thank you that Thursday you brought to my living room lovely women to study Hebrews, share what they are learning, pray for each other and for the people they love who do not know you. Thank you that your true Church can never be shut down. Oh, dear Lord,  remind me to "think on these things". 

Thank you that my remaining son and our daughter and their spouses will be here for the Labor Day weekend. We will all be aware of the losses, but it will be a sweet, comforting and energizing time together. Maybe Lexi will show up. You know how much I  miss the way we were.  Will we know we have been family when we are in Heaven with you? Well, again, eye has not seen, nor has ear heard the way it will be for us,  your blood-bought children.  Until then my heart will go on singing, then breaking, then pondering, then praying, then trusting, and then singing again. ...and then will come the peace that surpasses all understanding.

I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you, oh my soul, rejoice.
Take joy, my King, in what you hear; 
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear. 

Love,  Jo